


Spinning Axis

by didyousaygay



Series: My Personal Solar System [10]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25434649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didyousaygay/pseuds/didyousaygay
Summary: It's not considered a date when you're not considered a couple.
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/John Paulo Nase | Sejun
Series: My Personal Solar System [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774648
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Spinning Axis

**Almost**

The bustling night scene of Bangkok is an all out attack to someone's senses especially if you are running on 2 hours of sleep for the last 48 hours. Stell looks out through the tinted van's window as they pass through the lively streets on the way to their hotel. The chaos outside despite being foreign gives off a familiar sense of comfort, the some what organized mess of the city is a charm in its own right and he can't help but smile. 

They are seated at the back of the van for almost half an hour now and his sightseeing was halted by a traffic intersection. He looks at his left side, Justin sleeping soundly with his head tilted uncomfortably against his travel pillow, mouth hanging open and snoring softly. He takes a snap shot, in case he may require some black mail reference in the future. On Justin's left, seated beside the window is Sejun who is also sleeping, his head leaning back against the head rest, he's hugging a stuffed toy that is literally a giant mango. It was given by a fan and Sejun likes it so much he brings it everywhere especially on overseas trips. At certain times, the inanimate green mango gives him unwanted reasons to feel jealous because it doesn't need to wait for a certain day of the week to get Sejun's affection. The lifeless fruit just needs to exist and it immediately gains attention from Sejun while he's sitting here in this cramped space, sleep deprived and Sejun deprived. He turns his attention back to the scenery outside, he's being childish and selfish again. They are driving pass the intersection now as he tries to tune everything out until exhaustion finally lulls him to sleep.

"Tey.."

"Hmm.."

"Tey, huy!"

"Hmm..?"

"Tey, gising na.."

He slowly opens one eye, the van has stopped moving and with the way his neck feels like it's bent in a weird direction means he was asleep for quite some time. He opens both eyes and sees that they are already parked in the hotel lobby's round about. Sejun is sitting beside him, still hugging the innocent mango that is slowly becoming his unworthy rival. _Wait, did he just hear.._

"Nandito na tayo Stell, gising na."

No, he's not hearing things because despite his sleepy state, his nickname coming from Sejun's lips is something that never fails to make his heart race. He looks at Sejun intently, his eyes are puffy from sleep and he's pouting adorably. He's staring at his plump lips as he tries to remember what he heard when Sejun's mouth moved and called his name again. 

"Stell!"

He's still staring at his lips and he's not sure if it was his sleep deprived brain or his Sejun deprived self that decided to move forward and lean in, he moved his face closer. He felt Sejun's sudden sharp intake of breath but he's not trying to move away. Their faces are now extremely close and he can feel Sejun's warm breath in his face and his hazy mind is suddenly clear and his heart is beating so fast. He wants the distance between them gone. _He wants to kiss Sejun._

The door suddenly slides open.

"Hoy kayong dalawa tara na, start na tayo mag---"

Justin stops halfway. An initial shock was apparent on his face but it eventually turns into a wide gummy smile. 

"Magkakampihan na po tayo sa rooms, kaya labas na." Justin speaks with an obvious smirk. "Galingan nyo ha." He winks and closes the door behind him.

They look at each other, equally in shock and with the van's faint overhead lighting, Stell can see that Sejun is blushing, like crazy. He's almost as red as his sweater.

"Pau.." He almost speaks in a whisper. He can't really breathe properly and he's probably close to fainting, he doesn't need a mirror to see that his face is also flushed with how warm his whole body feels.

Sejun moves back in panic. "S-Se-Sejun sabi eh! Friday pa lang Tey, tumayo ka na dyan!" He stuttered which is a very rare sight then bolts out of the van and runs away to join the others who are already waiting in the lobby.

When realization finally kicked in, he covers his face in embarrassment. Sejun's words echoing in his head like a broken record. _Friday pa lang Tey._

_Friday pa lang Tey._

_Tey._

He can't help but giggle like a stupid teenager with a crush. If not for Justin's awesome timing, that would've been their first kiss. He tries to bury his face between the seats, hoping the van would just swallow him whole without a trace until his face hits Sejun's stuffed toy, it smells so much like him he can't help but smile like an idiot. Calm down. _Friday pa lang Tey._

When he finally joins every one, two backpacks in tow plus one giant mango in one hand, he stands beside Sejun and nudges him in the shoulder with a smile. Sejun looks at him and blushes instantly. He takes his own backpack from him, mouthing a silent thank you. 

When Sejun tried to take his pillow, he just hugged it with a playful smile and refused to give it back. It earned him a glare but it looks less threatening since Sejun's face is still red like a tomato. He tries to hide his giddy smile by using the pillow but he's once again attacked by Sejun's scent. He yanks it away and passes it back to its owner who gives him a judging look. They're still standing beside each other oblivious of their friends' curious looks when their PD calls them to start with the video. 

"Just like how you always do it ha. Kampihan para sa two rooms. Rolling na." Their PD signals the staff to start the video.

The universe itself is in his favor. He is room mates with Sejun. Just the two of them. But he needs to remind himself again. _Friday pa lang Tey._

When their obligatory hotel room video shoot finally ends, it was already 2 am and they retire to their assigned rooms quietly. He probably used up or abused his luck for that night because he's desperately praying for a queen sized bed so that they can share but they ended up having separate single beds. The universe reminds him again not to be too greedy.

"Hindi ka pa ba matutulog Sejun?"

"Mauna ka na mag-shower, may tatapusin lang ako. Maaga tayo ha, vlog content sa morning, interview sa hapon. "

Sejun is sitting in the middle of the bed, notebook in his lap with a slight frown on his face writing phrases that distinctly appears like lyrics. He looks so attractive when he's focused on something and Stell just looks at him fondly with a smile. He didn't notice how long he was staring like a creep until Sejun finally looks up, he massages his shoulders to relieve his sore muscles. That's the time he stands up to sit behind him and start massaging his back.

"Stell, ano ka ba, wag na, sabi ko sa yo magpahinga ka na eh." 

"Makasabing wag na, pero yung sandal mo papunta sa kin, parang gusto mo nang magpa-ampon. Wag nga ako Nase!"

"Ang daya mo kasi! Alam mong weakness ko yan eh."

 _Alam ko, kaya nga ginagawa ko eh._ "Ten minutes, para makatulog ka ng maayos."

"Counted ba as affection 'to Stell? Counted 'to di ba?"

"Dati na natin tong ginagawa, magkaibigan pa lang tayo, kahit sa restaurant, sa food court, sa sala, sa sinehan. Wala naman akong nakikitang mali. Pati ba to bawal na rin?"

"Now that you mention it that way, parang kailangan ko na ipagbawal."

"Sigurado ka ba John Paulo?"

Stell stops and Sejun adjusts himself, sitting while hugging his knees. He rests his chin in one knee and sighs. Stell leans and rests his forehead against Sejun's back. They sat still in silence. 

Sejun is the first to speak. Clearly aware that pushing the topic will just bring unwanted feelings back in the surface. "Salamat sa masahe Stell. Goodnight."

"You're welcome Sejun. Goodnight." Stell moves away, he walks to the bathroom and closes the door. 

When Sejun hears the shower, he relaxes and grabs his notebook and pen back. He tries not to imagine how Stell looks while the water slowly trickles down his body. Instead, he focuses on the sound of the water as it hits the tiled floor. He writes the words that have been constantly screaming inside his head.

> Anong naghihintay sa'tin sa dulo?  
> Aasa pa ba ako?  
> Pangarap mo, pangarap ko  
> Pangarap na lang bang maging tayo?

**Assurance**

A missing puzzle piece. If there's one thing that can describe the mystery that has been bugging Justin for the last few months, it's that unknown 'thing' about Stell and Sejun's relationship that he cannot figure out no matter how much he observes them. It was easier to understand them before, they're simply two idiots who are clueless and in love with each other but this new dynamics between them, it's something he can't explain. It's like they purposely stay away from each other but when the imaginary sand timer runs out, they slowly gravitate back. Like aligning planets. If he was frustrated about them before, this is his 2.0 version. And if he has sudden moments of wanting to pull his hair out due to severe exasperation because of his friends, this is unfortunately not the time because they are waiting for their turn to be interviewed and their stylist won't be happy to see his hair all messed up.

Sejun is re-reading the questionnaires that they need to answer for the interview. It will be a pre-recorded show that will be aired in a local tv station in Bangkok. Sejun brushes his hair back with his fingers, forgetting that their stylist already fixed it with setting spray causing a few locks of hair to go astray.

He walks closer to the two, hoping that they won't notice him planning to eavesdrop. It's not his intention to get all sneaky behind their back but his curiosity wins him over. It's not like he has nothing better to do, he justifies himself again. He just knows them really well and if it was their normal thing, Stell would just fix Sejun's hair without question and Sejun wouldn't even look up to bother. Like taking care of each other is automatically a given fact. But this time Stell asks for permission first and for them, that is something out of the ordinary.

"Sejun lagot ka, ginulo mo yung buhok mo, papagalitan ka na naman ni Carla."

"Huh? Naku, oo nga, sobrang gulo ba?!"

"Pwede kong ayusin?"

"Wag na Stell, magso-sorry na lang ako, papaayos ko ulit." Sejun rushes out of the dressing room to look for their stylist. Leaving Stell who just looks at Sejun's retreating back with a somber face.

Sejun didn't come back until it's time for their interview. His planned eavesdropping turned out to be an epic fail.

The studio set is arranged like a bright cozy living room, the host is sitting in a small cammy armchair while five of them are seated in an L-shaped couch. It's their first interview abroad with a foreign audience, they are all nervous and it's obviously a no-brainer that Stell and Sejun will sit beside each other. In close proximity, ignoring the concept of space. Their hands would find each other constantly and whether they're doing it on purpose or not, it reminded him of the planets again. Like two elements thriving and living off from each other's energy. 

It's a standard interview prior to their performance tomorrow night. They have encountered the sets of questions before, nothing new, it's just that they are now catering to a wider audience and their answers are automatically translated for the local language. 

"So Sejun, what do you think is the most difficult part of being a leader?"

"I think everything about being a leader is difficult but it becomes easier when the whole group supports and listens to each other."

"Speaking of support system, how about relationships? I know all of you are very busy with your career but people are curious, are you in a relationship? If not, what is your ideal type of person? Let's start from the corner again, Sejun."

The cameras zoom in and it's probably an instinctual reflex already that Sejun looks at Stell while he's trying to think of his answer. "Ideal, I don't really.. Uhh.." 

"You don't know? Are you sure?!" Stell looks at Sejun with a teasing smile.

Sejun is looking at Stell affectionately with a soft smile, as if Stell hung up the stars and the moon and from where Justin is sitting, he can clearly see how smitten Sejun is, how much more if the camera is focused on him? Maybe he's just overthinking and over protective but he wants to remind them that they're still in Planet Earth. In order to do that, he needs to prod Josh beside him to stop the two from exposing themselves in front of the camera. In front of national Thai TV to be specific. Josh subtly taps Stell's knee to get his attention. Stell looks away from Sejun and looks at the camera instead.

Sejun is still looking at Stell but seems like he finally found his answer. He turns to the host and replies. "I think that once you fall in love, you set your standards aside because the person you're in love with becomes your ideal person and if the person I love happens to be equally passionate about their craft and continues to work hard for it, that makes me adore them even more." Sejun looks back at Stell who is now staring at the floor with a tight lipped smile.

"Aww, that's so sweet, how about you Stell?"

Stell glances at Sejun before answering. "I feel the same way. But we're not in a relationship. I mean, the only relationship we have is with our loyal fans. Hi A'tin!"

The interview went well if you ask his humble opinion. The moment it ended, Stell and Sejun separated immediately. Even now as they travel back to their hotel, Sejun made sure he is seated in the back of the van, pulling an unknowing Ken to sit beside him. Justin looks at Ken but the latter just gives him a non committing shrug. One moment, they're acting like the vanilla couple that they are, next thing you know, they're avoiding each other like enemies. He finally combs his hair back and rubs his face in frustration.

"Mic test. Sound check."

"Sound check. 1 - 2 - 3."

When everything is set, he switches his mic off and asks "Stell, okay ka lang?" They've been very busy because of their packed schedule but he finally gets a moment with him and he doesn't waste it.

"Okay lang, bakit? Off key ba kami kanina?"

"Hindi yun. As in, okay ka lang? Yung okay ka lang talaga?"

"Parang may gusto kang sabihin Jah, sabihin mo na, ano ba yun?"

"Wala naman akong gustong sabihin, tanungin meron, ayoko sana makialam pero okay lang ba kayo ni Sejun?"

"Oo, bakit, mukha ba kaming hindi okay?"

"Stell, baka nakakalimutan mong witness kami dyan sa on going love story nyo--"

"Love story talaga Jah!!?"

"Bakit hindi ba? Gusto mo bang ipaalala ko pa sa'yo lahat!?"

"Oo na, sige love story na, kung dyan ka masaya. Okay lang kami! Wag kang mag-alala."

"Ang weird nyo lang kasi eh."

Much to his surprise, Stell calls Sejun who is talking to the sound engineer at the opposite end of the stage. Sejun gives Stell a questioning look but walks to them anyway. _Masunuring bata talaga si Sejun pagdating kay Stell._ But he straight away fears for his life because he's not prepared to ask Sejun, yet. And he's coming this way. 

"Bakit Ajero? Pag sumagot ka ng 'wala lang' pagkatapos mo ko papuntahin dito, yari ka talaga sa kin." 

"Hoy Nase, wag masyadong masungit, ang weird daw natin sabi ni Jah." 

He looks at Stell wide eyed, mouth agape in shock. He was thrown face first in the lion's den and now he has no way out but to use Stell as human shield when grumpy Sejun releases his wrath. 

But instead, Sejun's expression softens and gives him a calm re-assuring smile. "Worried ka ba Jah? Pasensya ka na ha. Yari talaga sa kin tong si Stell kasi kasalanan nya to eh."

"Hoy Sejun, bakit kasalanan ko lang?!"

They stare at each other and it's clear that they are having a silent conversation just by looks alone until Sejun breaks the eye contact and turns to him. "Sorry to make you worry Jah, kasalanan pa rin ni Stell to---"

"Hoyyy!"

"--pero wag ka na mag-alala. Okay lang talaga kami. Galingan mo mamaya ha. Make us proud." Sejun pats his head and smiles. He then drags Stell away to walk back to the sound engineer.

He was left standing there, staring at their backs in awe. They're still discussing something with the staff as they listen attentively and all he can do is take a snap shot of them. He saves it but doesn't upload it in social media. He doesn't need to think of a caption because there's only one that fits. 

_My Second parents._

**Always**

'We are slowly getting there' is a phrase from Josh that stayed with them after years of hard work. After their performance, once the adrenaline rush from the stage wears off, after the congratulatory statements for a job well done, after gaining the attention and hopefully admiration of foreign audience, they finally return to their own rooms for that well deserved rest. The moment to absorb everything can wait for tomorrow. 

Tomorrow is their last day in Thailand. Tomorrow, they're finally going home. Tomorrow is the start of another day to slowly reach their dreams. Tomorrow, which is exactly 10 minutes from now, is the start of another week.

When they returned to the hotel and Sejun wordlessly lied down on his own bed, he can't help but feel bad because being away from each other for days has caused them to be on edge, leading others to worry about them and now that they are just minutes away from their sort of re-charging point, his human charger falls asleep on him. He scolds himself for another selfish thought because Sejun deserves to rest and he's supposed to do the same but he can't sleep despite how tired he is. He's been facing the wall for quite some time now because he doesn't trust himself enough to look at Sejun and to be able to restrain himself not to jump and cling to him desperately. 

He checks his phone again and the blinding screen literally mocks him when it shows Monday 12:15 am. He lies down, covers himself with the blanket and prays for sleep to come his way.

He wakes up startled, his blanket was pulled away from him with haste. He's about to complain when familiar arms wrap him in a warm hug and he instinctively adjusts his body to fit as the small spoon. Sejun hugs him tight and this time, he confirms that Sejun likes to kiss the top of his head when they cuddle and he can't help but smile. He moves closer to him until he can feel his chest on his back and their limbs are all but a tangled mess and he's finally contented because at last, he is in his happy place.

"Hi Tey.."

"Bat nandito ka?"

"Ay gumaganti, tampo naman agad tong baby na to. Oo na, may overtime na. Sa'yo na ko hanggang 1:17 am mamaya."

"Natiis mo ko ng isang oras, nakakainis ka!"

"Wag ka na magtampo, andito na nga oh."

"Pau.."

"I'm here."

"Pau.."

"Go to sleep Tey."

"Pau, gising."

"Tey, maaga pa.."

"Gising na!"

"Ayoko nga, nagtatampo ka pa rin ba? Papaalisin mo ba ko sa bed mo?"

"John Paulo Nase, babangon ka ba o hindi?"

He reluctantly sits up, still feeling woozy from sleep. Stell is looking at him with that sunny smile and he accepts his fate that regardless of the situation, he will always be weak for this man. "Eto na po, nakabangon na."

"Suot mo tong hoodie dali, may pupuntahan tayo."

He complies and wears it, covering his messy hair with the hood. "Eto na ba magiging title ng kanta natin? Chasing Sunrise?" His brain filter is not working yet and he regrets it instantly.

"Sabi ko na nga ba gumagawa ka ng kanta natin eh, di ba dapat kasali ako dyan?"

 _Di ko pa nga alam kung anong mangyayari sa tin, paano natin tatapusin yung kanta?_ "Halika na, habulin na natin yang sunrise mo." He holds Stell's hand and leads him towards the door. It's still early and with the inconspicuous hoodies that they're wearing, he's feeling a tad brave that they can walk outside holding each other's hand. He pulls Stell's hoodie to conceal his face and he's suddenly hit by sadness thinking of a certain future where they can hold hands without hiding who they are.

"Natin, Pau. Sunrise natin. Akala mo ba, hindi ko alam yang iniisip mo? Ang aga aga, depressed ka na agad."

"Eh di pasayahin mo ko.."

"Ano pa nga ba?" Stell smiles and kisses his forehead. He was taken aback by the gesture but before he can react, Stell pulls him towards the elevator. "Mamaya ka na mag-drama ha, hahabulin pa natin yung araw."

Call him shallow, but yes, that kiss made him happy.

The 27th floor is a roof top bar and restaurant which is supposed to be off limits at this time and access should be restricted for guests like them but Stell just smiles at Sejun bashfully while opening a door with a sign that clearly shows FOR STAFF ONLY.

The door opens to a clearing that leads to the side entrance of the restaurant and the vibrant sky line of Bangkok welcomes them. The bluish tincture of dawn giving off a familiar and melancholic sight. They stand beside each other, hands intertwined as they look over the bustling city.

"Hindi 'to kasintaas ng pinuntahan natin last time pero maganda pa rin. Alam mo kung bakit?"

"Kapag ginamitan mo ko ng mga lines mo Ajero, iiwanan kita mag-isa dito."

"Iiwan mo ko?"

Sejun gazes at Stell with certainty and equal intensity. "Pag kailangan. Pero sabi ko naman sayo hanggang kailangan mo ko, nandito ko."

"Ako, kahit iwan mo ko, hindi kita susukuan Pau."

"Tey, sunrise na..." Sejun looks up at the burning hues of day break and holds Stell's hand tighter as the radiant colors of the sun cascade through the sky.

When the sun is completely up, they look back at each other and at that moment, they both knew that words aren't needed to explain what they feel. They close the distance between them with unwavering resolve, deeming everything else insignificant.

Their lips meet for the first time and in that special moment that solely belongs to them, they kiss with fervent passion. There's no fear, life changing decisions or relationship and career hurdles. It's just the two of them in their own uncaring world and the only thing that matters is how much they love each other deeply.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading


End file.
